After the Bible study today (after hearing Beth Moore's passionate teaching), I feel like I have to confess something. The last post I wrote focused on my desire to be an artist, my desire to be appreciated, my desire to be free of my feelings and emotions - me, me, me, me. Well, as much as I like to say I have a right to be free and do all these things, I can't. You see, I realized something today during Bible study, I was bought by Christ's blood. He owns me. He is my savior, master, my God. He did not just one day woke up and say, "hey, I think I'll go through all the mocking, whipping, broken skin and flesh, nailing up on the cross just for fun." He did it all for me because He loves me!!! His blood was shed for me so I can have my sins washed away. He took my punishment so that I don't have to. Just reflecting on this, makes me sick to the stomach that all I cared about in my last post was me. And get this, the things I was caring about couldn't even compare with what He went through.
Oh my God, how can You even stand me?
My attention was on myself only.
If I had just lifted my eyes to You, even for a second,
I would have known my thoughts were unjustified.
Oh, Jesus, You have every right to demand me to serve You.
But you don't.
You love me for me and I WANT to serve You.
Oh, my precious LORD, Your amazing love is more than I can fathom.
Why do You love me so? I do not deserve it.
But that's the beauty of Your grace.
I bow before You, LORD. I bow and worship You....
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