God's lesson to me from my toddler

Today was a rough day with my 2 year old. It seemed like she was being as defiant as she could on everything I asked her to do. And when I get upset and punishes her, she would apologize and say that she wants to listen and is going to do it. But then a minute later when I tell her to do something, she wouldn't do it.

It was like this the whole day.

I got really upset in the afternoon and I was crying out to God that I don't know why she was acting that way and why she says one thing and does another. And God responded immediately.

I heard Him say that you, Yu-Ting, are the same way.

That was an eye-opener for me...

I looked back for a couple of weeks and realized that that's what I've been doing. I've been SAYING that I need to sleep earlier, pray more, read the Bible more, etc. But I did not DO any of it. I didn't try to do it. I was TOO tired. And I was distracted by cleaning and organizing and decorating. And there is nothing wrong with doing that except God was not first in my life. He was basically last.

I was so ashamed. I confessed my sin and asked God for forgiveness. I was wondering what was wrong with this weekend. It was just really weird - something was not right. And the good LORD shined some light on it and brought it out in the open through my misbehaving toddler.

Oh, how Matthew 7:3-4 applies even for a toddler:

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?

I have no authority to tell her to listen to me when I didn't listen to my heavenly Father. And somehow she knew it. Or maybe the Holy Spirit enabled this so that I can see the plank in my own eyes. I am truly humbled. Wow.

Thank you LORD for revealing to me my sin. Thank you for using Abby to teach me. LORD, help me to change for real. Help me to set the priority and get my focus back on You and what You want me to do. And help me to stick to it. In Jesus' name, Amen.

I am now in the middle of scheduling my week so that I get good sleep at night and have time in the morning to read the Bible and also have time for craft business/ministry and cleaning and organizing. I pray that there will be significant changes this week.

I will speak the Truth

As true followers of Christ, we will be persecuted. But I have determined to be in God's Word and speak the Truth.

Please read the lyrics and watch the video of the following song.

Starfield - "Revolution"

If I'm here all alone
If I'm left behind
If they spit in my face
If they hate my kind

I will rise above
I will live for love
I will answer to the call
For the bond between
For the depth unseen
For my God forsake it all

'Cause I'm a fire
I'm a flood
I'm a revolution
I am a war
Already won
I'm a revolution

When the world is at war
When the grace is gone
When the hungry lay dead
While the rich live on

I will rise above
I will live for love
I will answer to the call
For the bond between
For a depth unseen
For my God forsake it all

(Here I stand)
Open hands
Waiting for You
I won't back down
I'll live to speak Your truth

You are God of me

I praise You, O LORD!
I praise You!!!

Thank You for a beautiful day, O LORD.
And to think that You're so much more beautiful than my eyes have seen...
Just unfathomable...


You are God of me

You are God of the heavens
God of the earth.
And You are God of me.

Who am I that You are mindful of me?
You, the Creator of the universe.

You are so holy.
You are so magnificent.
You are who You are.
You are the great I AM.

O God, my heart is so full.
It can't contain You.
It can't grasp all that You are.

You are in every fiber of my soul.
Your Spirit fills the whole earth.
You, O LORD, are my God.

I'm so in awe of You.

I'm so in love with You...

Can we have integrity apart from Christ?

It's not about being perfect - no one is. But it's being consistent about who we are no matter where we are.

Now, if we just stop right there, many people may claim they have integrity even those who are consistently bad. So here is how Merriam-Webster define "Integrity":

1 : firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : incorruptibility
2 : an unimpaired condition : soundness
3 : the quality or state of being complete or undivided : completeness

This is how this society defines integrity. It's not from the Bible. It's not "Christian". It's from the dictionary.

For this post, we are trying to determine the moral side of integrity. So we will take definition #1.

So let's get a show of hands - who has the "especially" moral values down? Not many of you raised your hands. But some of you did. It's so relative, isn't it? My moral values are probably not yours. Yours may not be mine. His may be better than mine. Hers may be lower than someone else's. So if we try to determine "integrity" by our own human definition, we get contradictions. There is no absolute.

And in our society right now, that's what we desire. We like that no one can tell us what's right or wrong. We like that no one can tell us what to do. Everyone is different, so everyone can do things their own way. We should all tolerate one another.

This is fine until my way encroaches on your way. Then somehow your moral system seems to be better than mine. And then you become right and I become wrong - even though we agreed at the beginning that my values are just as good as yours.

Do you see this hypocrisy?

So my answer to the question is this: NO, we CANNOT have integrity apart from Christ.

Before you start slamming me, let me say this: NOT all Christians have integrity. Just like not all Buddhists or New Agers or Muslims are perfect either.

BUT if we want consistent moral values across the board, we can only get them from God (who is perfect). Christ came down from heaven to show us the way to God. He said, I am the way and the truth and the life, no one comes to the Father except through Me.

But we have to first realize that our denying of our wrongdoings doesn't work - half of the time, we're not even living up to our own standards. Jesus did not come to condemn us. He came to free us from our guilt, from doing the same bad things over and over again. The solution to our guilt is not to bury them or to ask other people to accept the wrong action or to make other people do the same thing so you feel better.

The solution is to admit that it's wrong and turn from it and accept God's forgiveness in Christ Jesus. Doesn't that sound a lot better and simpler than doing it your way? And this is not a man-made religion. A relationship with God is offered from God Himself. We cannot do anything to deserve it. There is no credit to us, period.

So if you're struggling right now with your life and I know you are (even if you have a successful career, wonderful family, big house, or can party all night, you're probably still struggling with something), consider this: Jesus Christ already took your punishment for your crimes (against yourself, against your friends, against your enemies, against your spouse, etc.), all you have to do is to accept this gift from Him. Receive God's forgiveness and follow Him. Stop doing what you were doing (because that didn't get you anywhere). And do what He wants you to do. His way is better because

1. He's ALL powerful.
2. He knows everything that's going on in the world and whatever is in your mind.
3. He's outside of time and dimension.
4. He knows you better than you know yourself.
5. He loves you (He's willing to and did die for you).
6. He has a plan for you.

Being a Christian is not about being perfect. We don't make all the right decisions. We don't say all the right things. We don't think holy all the time. It is, however, about Jesus. It is about God. It is about what He has done for us. It is about that we are sinners who desperately need to be freed from this prison of sin and guilt. It is about Him setting us free by taking our punishment for us. It is about us following Him humbly and learning about Him with the Holy Spirit's help and the amazing grace and mercy that we call upon for forgiveness when we do sin. It is all about Him.