Okay, so God convicted me this evening just as we were leaving church. My husband knew something that I didn't know and that I'm not supposed to know. And he was being a godly husband to not tell me. Now... I know, I really know, that I shouldn't ask him about it. The first thought that came to my mind was "oh okay". Then all of a sudden, a second thought came in: "maybe you can ask a couple questions - nothing too deep or revealing, but just enough for you to have an idea of what it is." [Wow, can you believe that??] And guess what? I actually debated with this "thought" in my head. I was like, no, I shouldn't. Then I was like, it's okay to know a little bit - shows that you care. Then I was like, no.... This went on for a while in my head until we got home.
Isn't this scary? I was actually justifying gossip!!! And I, who knew what gossip is, I was trying to talk myself into sinning and possibly my husband also. Oh, the temptation was HUGE! I had such strong urges to ask him. In the end, I didn't. Not because I was strong spiritually. But there were "distractions" - ways out of the situation, like changing of topic, taking care of Abby, etc. Each time I wanted to ask him, something happens. Now, I could have still gave in to the temptation and asked, except I fought it with all my life to take those ways out. And in the end, it was won with God's provision.
Thank You, LORD, for providing those ways out. I could not have won that battle myself. My selfish desires are still there. But I'm so grateful for the guidance of Your Holy Spirit. Continue to strengthen and equip me spiritually so I can fight a good fight against the prince of this world. Thank You, LORD! In Jesus' sweet name I pray, Amen.No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. - 1 Cor. 10:13
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